As An Autistic Adult, Should I Request Special Assistance When Flying?

I've not flown a lot in the last 20 years but when I have I've had special assistance because of other family members needing it or because I was using a wheelchair or mobility scooter.

I'm typing this mid flight home from a week in Lanzarote as I am trying to calm my heart from beating so hard that it flies out of my mouth (literally this is how it feels). 

This holiday was a week just my hubby and me. No wheelchair. No scooter. No children with additional needs. No thoughts on needing Special Assistance for flying.

Outbound we had a fast track through security and it was all pretty calm. My biggest anxiety was waiting to board the plane. Waiting. Standing. Being nudged. My hubby told me to take a seat. He would stand in the queue and when he got closer to the front I should join him. I did. We walked from the airport terminal to the plane. It felt very weird to be walking up the aircraft stairs rather than using a tunnel or special assistance vehicle. I took a moment to pause and take it all in. I was doing it. I was walking up the aircraft stairs. Something I never thought I'd be able to do again.

We were excited. Our first holiday together in 18 years. Just us. In the sun. We'd pushed the boat out and it felt like a second honeymoon. The week was fabulous. It was like we were teenagers again. Just being daft without a care in the world.

Of course, I threw a spanner in the works by getting ear infections in both ears, taking a trip to the local hospital and being told I wouldn't be able to fly until they cleared up. We weren't going to let that ruin our week. I took the antibiotics and pain killers as prescribed and enjoyed the sunshine, and my husband!

Roll on the morning of flying home. We get up early and return to the hospital. I get the all clear to fly home and we go back and enjoy the last few hours in our beautiful room.

So, back to Special Assistance… 

Have you heard of the coke bottle effect? Each thing that happens to you is like a shake of the coke bottle, the pressure builds and builds until it explodes. Keep that in mind whilst reading this next bit.

We get to the airport and the queue to check in our luggage is enormous. (Shake that coke bottle.) I go and sit in a quiet area again and wait for my hubby to get closer to the front of the queue. Will my ears hurt during the flight? (Shake.) We get our suitcase checked in and go through security. I beep. (Shake.) I go through again. (Shake.) Then we're delayed. (Shake.) My hubby suggests getting a drink in a cafe. Let's sit on a table out of the way and play a game of cards. He's great at this. He spots the anxiety rising and helps me focus.

We get the gate number. We go and use the bathroom so not to be queuing for ages. We are at gate 1. Who thought it'd be a great idea to put gate 1 and 2 in the same place of the airport as a Burger King, KFC, Pizza Hut Takeaway, a sandwich shop and toilets??? (Shake.) It was like a cattle market. (Shake.) We join one of the two queues, which merge into one. (Shake.) We're all going to get on the flight people! Stop nudging infront of us! (Shake.) I am squished. (Shake.) I'm clinging onto my hubby, twiddling my finger twiddler. I feel grounded when I touch him. I take over pushing of the little suitcase to give me something to do. A woman pushes infront of us. (Shake.) She's with two friends. They stay behind us.

We are waiting to get our passports stamped. Will they let us through? The police officer looks really stern. (Shake.) Then our boarding cards checked. Will they let us on to the flight? (Shake.) They do, and we head down the stairs to board the flight. There's a bus waiting to take us to the aircraft. (Shake.) I can do this. No I can't. (Shake.) Yes I can. I get on and sit down. More and more people get on to the bus before the doors shut and we set off. (Shake.)

This is my twiddly thing.

I sit with my eyes closed. Twiddling my twiddly thing with my fingers. Telling myself to breathe. My hubby leans on my shoulders. It helps to ground me. When the bus stops we wait until last to get off. This also means we are last up the stairs to the aircraft. No-one behind us. No pressure to rush because someone is impatient behind us. 

Think back to the bottle of coke analogy and how many times I have typed the word “shake”. My bottle is quite fizzy right now and about to explode at any moment. I'm not going to explode through anger. More like I'm so overwhelmed I could curl into a ball and cry.

I now have a four and a half hour flight to sit through. Not able to get up and down when I need to. Listening to constant chatter and babies crying. Smelling 200 people's food and drink all at the same time. Coping with the pressure of my ears popping. Sitting next to a stranger.

If I'd have requested special assistance I could have eliminated half of those “shake” instances as we wouldn't have had to queue to check in or to board. We would have had a member of staff all the way through who knows where to go and what to do. I would feel a lot less overwhelmed right now. My heart wouldn't be beating out of my chest and I wouldn't feel like I would cry at any second. I know this because I've never felt like this when we've had special assistance.

Going forward I will always request it for myself when I am flying. It isn't a luxury, it's there for a reason. It's a need. It's my need.

If you think you require special assistance when travelling, contact your airline. It can be as much as being wheeled from checking in to help getting on and off the plane and collection of luggage, to as little as joining a shorter queue.

That's a lot of me rambling on there so that's all for now. I'll bid you a goodbye from the skies.

JuJu.