Finding Support

About 4 weeks after my breast cancer surgery I went to Maggie’s. For those of you that haven’t heard of Maggie’s, they are a charity who have cancer centres all around the country. A calm place to go and find support for people and their families going through cancer. My local centre is opposite the breast care centre at my hospital. We walked in and were greeted by a volunteer, asked if we wanted a brew and a bit of cake and took a comfy seat. We explained our situation and they recommended we see one of their staff. They were a wealth of information. They helped me apply for financial help, we arranged for help with their therapist, and information about wigs and telephone buddies from Macmillan. They had a programme of events they hosted themselves including an art club, group sessions for people with cancer and also ones dedicated to just men or family members. A totally free service.

Maggie’s hosts events from outside sources too and were holding an event by Look Good, Feel Better. This is another charity running a free service to help the wellbeing of people living with cancer. They support women, men and young adults, holding workshops and classes in person and virtually. I signed up for an in person workshop at Maggie’s for skincare and makeup. It was the week before I had my first chemotherapy. There were women who had just started treatment, some in the thick of it and some who had finished treatment. We had step by step advice on skincare and makeup application. We were so well looked after. Everyone was so kind and understanding of our situations. We were taught how to enhance our sparse eyebrows and loss of eyelashes, aiming to make you feel more like you again. After the workshop, one of the women had tagged the event on Instagram. I thought, hmmm…I recognised the cardigan in the photo. It was mine! I replied to the photo and it put me in touch with Dawn. Dawn was two weeks ahead of me with her chemotherapy treatment. Dawn has become a friend via the joys of social media. A supportive new friend who shared my woes of struggles during chemotherapy. I enjoyed the workshop so much I booked on another but virtually for looking after nails. The advice I got from this one I believe helped me keep my nails intact during treatment.

I really fancied going to the art club that Maggie’s held on a Thursday. My chemotherapy used to fall on a Wednesday and I had a really rough time through it so Thursdays were a bit tricky for me. I didn’t make it to as many as I would have liked. I was always welcomed with open arms. The first time I went, I had just cut my hair short in preparation for it falling out. I had my wig and hat on and I had rushed to make it in time for the session. I was boiling hot when I sat down, sweat dripping down my face. I sat down in the empty seat and got talking to the ladies next to me. I always say it’s weird how life brings you together with people who you need in your life… I met Rachael. It ends up that we live less than ten minutes drive from each other and have remained great friends! Rachael saw the sweat running down my face and said no one would judge me if I took off my wig. It was the first time I had felt free since cutting my hair off! I felt so at home at Maggie’s so I looked into other things they did. Rachael understands more than others how I feel because she’d had an operation and was a few months ahead of me but on the same chemotherapy drugs. As we talked more we realised that our children had gone to the same pre-school. I dug out my son’s nativity play dvd from pre-school and Rachael’s daughter and my son sat 2 people apart throughout it all! What are the odds!

I contacted Macmillan for their telephone buddy service. I told them all about me, why I would like a buddy and the type of person who I would like to support me. I was then matched to a lady called Debbie. She rang me every Tuesday at 2pm and helped me through so many things, from websites for wigs, made sure I asked questions at appointments based on things we had talked about, helped me with how I felt about having cancer plus much, much more. No matter what was happening, I knew at 2pm on a Tuesday, Deb would call. Every week, I'd think... I'm not sure what I've got to talk about this week. Yet every week, we would talk for at least an hour. Our final session was to meet up and say goodbye. Deb will always have a very special place in my heart.

If you think this service would help you, please click on the link below to find out more. You also don't have to be the actual patient to benefit. Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger.

By keeping in touch with others going through the same things as me, I not only found day to day support from them but also shared information. Through Dawn (my new make-up course friend), I found out about a course run by Breast Cancer Now charity. It was a Moving Forward course for two half days. I find sitting in a room with others feels very strange at first. I’m always one of the first ones to open up as I’m there to get help and I feel like speaking up gets me that. I found out I wasn’t alone in the way I was feeling. I was feeling stuck in a rut but wasn’t the only one. I walked out of there after the first session with a better understanding of how I was feeling and that I wasn’t alone in feeling like that. We not only talked about our feelings but most of us were on the same drugs and were experiencing side effects. Some of us did not realise that what we were experiencing was an actual side effect of the medication, just thought it was randomly happening. I gained so much from this course and in looking it up for the blog have found out you can now do it online - so it’s accessible to all.

This blog wasn’t supposed to be this long but in sitting here typing, I realised how much new support I had found out there. From charities to social media to courses to new friends.

I think I’d like to write a blog sharing stories of my new friends but have to ask their permission first of course. We’ve all had breast cancer but our stories are all so very different. Theirs may help you. 

JuJu x

Here are some websites for you:

Maggie's

Look Good Feel Better

Macmillan Telephone Buddy

Moving Forward Course