Chapter 6
Halfway, But Not Half Easy
The Day Before Chemo Two
Chemo came back around quickly. I’d documented everything and felt ready. I also knew it would likely hit harder this time - chemo builds in your system.
It had started the previous week. Thanks to my wonderful hairdresser, I’d already gone from long hair to a short pixie cut, so it wasn’t a shock. But when it really began falling out, it was still upsetting.
After a couple of days, I asked my husband to:
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Shave it to a number 2
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Then a few days later, shave it all off
Hair was everywhere - falling out bit by bit, not in clumps like I expected. Itchy. Constant. Shaving it felt like reclaiming control. It was gone. A fresh start.
Check In & Chemo Number 2
Before treatment, I met with my oncologist to discuss side effects. She suggested:
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Sage tablets (for hot flushes)
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Evening Primrose Oil (as an alternative)
Getting the cannula in was a nightmare. One hour, three nurses, four attempts, and every trick in the book later, we finally got a vein. Chemo can cause veins to shut down, and I only had one hand they could use. Not ideal.
Because of the difficulty, I was scheduled to have a port fitted in my chest for future treatments. Life-changing. See my Port Blog for more on that.
The treatment left me exhausted. I cried one night just trying to hold my toothbrush. I had done a little tidying, too much for my body. Lesson learned: more rest while the battery-acid cocktail worked its way through me.
Halfway!
Halfway through! But it didn’t feel like a celebration the night before. I cried when everyone else was asleep. The idea of ten more days of feeling awful - it was too much in that moment.
The next morning, I felt a mix of pride and dread. Halfway. Only halfway.
In the treatment room, a woman was finishing her final round. I asked if she’d ring the bell - she wasn’t fussed. But I knew when it was my time, I’d ring that bell with all my might.
Last Time With Syringes
This was my last EC treatment. The next round would use a different drug (Docetaxel) administered by machine. I now had my port and although my skin was tender from having it fitted the day before, it made the process so much easier. No pain. A win.
Immediately after treatment I felt woozy and went to bed. It hit hard and fast. It drained everything. My mind was strong and positive, but my body was done. In that moment, chemo could do one.
Day 3 Post Treatment:
The Turning Point
It always seemed to be around Day 3 when I could see the light again. But this time was tougher. More pain, more weakness, less resilience. I looked poorly too. It wasn’t just how I felt - it was how I looked. And that made it harder for all of us.
But through it all, we told ourselves:
It must be working.